Today’s discussion includes two things: First, my secret profession and secondly, wedding cake.
Mr. Bee and I attended a wedding of his co-worker’s last evening. Saturday night big events, like a wedding, are not something I really look forward to because I covet having free weekends to do what I choose. So, knowing I had to take a shower, do my hair, put on makeup, my Spanx and find something to wear was all going to be worth it because, in the end, my reward was wedding cake.
I am not a big fan of Groom’s cake. It’s usually chocolate, which I like, but it’s also dry. I will knock a line of women down for a big, thick, corner piece of Bride’s cake, which is usually white. Mr. Bee has been married to me long enough now to know that white cake with white buttercream frosting is the way to make my heart sing.
Here’s a photo of the happy couple (that would be me and Mr. Bee) after we had a glass of wine and our appertifs…I am going to take a break from the cake talk and review the first point…my secret ultimate profession….wedding singer….
No, this isn’t me. It’s the singer in the band from the reception. I thought they did a nice job. She sang on key, was dressed appropriately and they had a great mix of songs they played. I wanted to be an actress and major in theatre when I went to university but Earnie said I had to actually earn a living. I became a nurse, which in some way is like acting. I think wedding singer would be the perfect jumping off point to re-visit the whole acting thing.
When I mentioned to Mr. Bee that I wish I were up there singing he said, “Yeah, but your version of a wedding singer would be more like Debbie Reynolds.”
I knew what he meant. Debbie played Bobbi Adler, Grace’s mother on Will & Grace. Everytime Grace would come home with Will, her mother would be laying on top of the piano singing. Mr. Bee said that would be me when Miss Bee comes home from college. He’s right. Okay, back to cake.
As soon as we arrived at the reception, I made a bee-line for the cake to see what we had in store. After all, it was the whole reason I was wearing Spanx. I was working on my strategy of how I was going to score two pieces of bride’s cake without anyone noticing. Here’s the bounty…
My world of cake came crashing down at 10 p.m. when the darned bride and groom still had NOT cut the cake. They were happy as clams dancing the night away and since the bride weighs all of about 95 pounds cake was the last thing on her mind. Mr. Bee turned to me and said, “we need to go. I have an early flight”. Cue sounds of old-timey records scratching. “But, everyone is going to get to eat cake and we’re not.”
I completely understood his plight. I didn’t really need the cake. But I wanted it. I have been thinking about it ever since. I am thinking about staging a fake wedding and calling a bakery with a fake name to have a small cake made for myself. Of, course my birthday is coming up and Mr. Bee already has the bakery’s number on speed dial.